Confidence. How many people do you know that have confidence? How many people do you know that lack confidence? How many people do you know who desire confidence? The struggle is real… but I’m going to teach you how to think about it in a different way, as a circle instead of a struggle.
We all start out developing confidence within our environmental upbringing. We may have had parents who encouraged us and praised us for things well done. Or maybe over time we noticed we were better than average at something and starting feeling confident in our skill set at that particular thing. These milestones are great and helpful on the confidence journey, however, as we go through life it’s inevitable we will have new obstacles arise that we are unfamiliar with and not confident in. It happens to everyone. Often times we let it get the best of us and we feel the affliction. We withdraw, develop anxiety, or even get stressed and depressed. This doesn’t have to happen. It’s not as difficult as it seems if you get informed and remind yourself of ways to be better.
I’ll use myself as an example for this. I was raised with a loving supportive family which lead me to have confidence and a good sense of self. At a certain point though, I believe it began in high school and especially in college and young adulthood, I was faced with uncertainty and insecurities. If I wanted to feel good about myself and move forward I had to figure out how to hang on to some confidence. I learned through trial and error as well as becoming more familiar with the process. It’s not just a one time fix. It’s a series of small wins that you circle each time you gain confidence in a new area. Confident people still battle with confidence. They have dealt with the battle enough times they began to understand and get more comfortable with how it works, and that is the cool factor… your confidence grows with practice. Here’s the cycle worth practicing… it’s a timeless tool crafted by a great leader, Michael Hyatt, to gain confidence with each new level or endeavor you desire.
THE BEGINNING OF THE CIRCLE –
Surprisingly confidence starts with humility. When you remember that everyone is human and no one is perfect you can be grounded and humble. When you think about people who are confident they typically have the ability to be comfortable in their own skin. This can be learned! It gives you the freedom to accept where you are. If you long to be confident and capable. You want to be sure around others. The truth is that’s not always going to happen. As soon as you get comfortable with not being capable or sure, and embrace the fact that life’s about learning, then you will start building confidence. Give yourself grace and don’t be afraid to ask for it from others. People around you don’t expect you to know it all so don’t feel like you have to. Be honest. be humble.
Next, be clear. Figure out what you want to be confidant about. How will you get there? Start moving forward, and with each step more clarity and confidence will emerge.
Have courage. Kind of reminds me of the Cinderella movie!:) Courage might just be the hardest part. Courage doesn’t lack fear, it just braves it anyway! If you have courage through your fear and keep pressing forward toward your goals then you will make progress. I promise.
ROUNDING THE CIRCLE –
Ever heard that quote about how the people around you can either make you or break you… this could be true. The community you surround yourself with is also key to growing confidence. Finding your people or being around like minded people will build your confidence because you will naturally be inspired and comfortable around them. Having supportive, helpful, and loving people around can definitely aid your confidence. I remember finding my best friend in college and simply being around her made me feel better. She brought out the best in me. She was also great about identifying the best in me too. She pointed out things I hadn’t noticed about myself before which gave me a new insight on my strengths. A caring community can do wonders.
Sticking to your reason why is also part of rounding the circle. There will be hard times when you feel like your not getting it, your not good enough, or why are you even trying? Stay committed and have a good why. Remind yourself why becoming more confident matters.
THE END OF THE CIRCLE –
Don’t forget to celebrate the small wins. taking time to reflect and take note of your little achievements is valuable to building your momentum and your confidence level. Whether you jot it down in your journal, tell a friend, or just give thanks for it as you lay your head down at night, acknowledging progression ( big or small) is helpful to the subconscious 😉
After going through this cycle and putting in the work you will likely find yourself capable, which in essence means confident. You will have done it. Became familiar. Gained actual confidence. You will have learned the qualities of how to think confidently. You will understand the emotions and have experience with them.
That brings us back to humility. The beginning and the end of confidence. Remember how you started with nothing. Remind others of that. No one just develops confidence overnight. Encourage others and continue to be encouraged.
It’s an upward climb once you’ve figured it out and it becomes fun and exciting to challenge yourself and see what comes to light. The sky is the limit now. You can put the circle to practice at each new level of confidence and be happy and grateful for each new discovery within yourself. I’d love to hear how any of these steps have shaped your thoughts or development of confidence. What does your confidence level look like? What can you work on? Leave a comment!
xx, kc
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