When we were young and first married we never even thought about being intentional with our time together. I actually remember a specific time when we were visiting with some experienced married people in our community at an event and they were all discussing and kind of complaining actually about never having time to spend alone together.
They talked on and on about how once they had kids they slowly stopped spending time with each other because their kids along with the demands of life simply took up all of their time and energy.
I remember looking at each other thinking these people are sad. We will never loose hope like this, how awful and depressing are they? Ha ha! We thought something was wrong with them that wasn’t wrong with us! We soon learned however, that we just hadn’t experienced that stage of life yet. Once we got there, we began to relate.
We recognized we better take control of the situation fast or we’d be in the same boat as they had been (which we remembered we never wanted to be in). We quickly saw that they were right! Children and life demand a lot of your time and attention, but what matter’s is that you don’t let it get that painful. When you feel the pain, you find a better way and fast!
We saw that if we wanted to have more time to collect our thoughts or relax our minds we had to make it. We needed to take ownership of our time. The options were slim, but not out of reach. We looked at a lot of successful people and how they made time for themselves and each other and the key was a morning and nightly rhythm. A time to just be present together, no agenda other than that. No expectations even. Dedicating to just being together and letting natural things flow from that matter. Small amounts of consistantly over time make a difference.
We don’t always get our way and hit the target, our time together takes shape in new and different ways all the time, but when we keep this important in the forefront of our mind we are pleasantly reminded of how valuable it is. We have actually been striving to spend evenings together unwinding after we put the kids down, but we haven’t found our rhythm with that quiet yet still. To our surprise, as neither of us are morning people, we have discovered a nice little morning routine that we didn’t really put much effort into. That’s the thing… as long as your continuing to work towards your goal the right thing will find it’s fit. Be patient and notice what your natural patterns are, then play to that.
Keep living for the most and make the important things matter!