It’s no secret that life gets messy, chaotic, and downright out of control sometimes. It’s hardly avoidable and sneaks up on attack. I consider myself a fairly intentional person and it’s exhausting adjusting and manipulating life to ensure we don’t derail off track. The good news is we can relax about the fact that it’s completely normal. Once we accept that life is going to derail at times, we can leave a little room for it to do so, be content with it, and actually even overcome it!
Jared and I have been trying to make our connection a priority since we said I do 13 years ago. Over time we’ve discovered that we don’t always hit the nail on the head. The thing that keeps us moving forward is that we’re persistent. We don’t give up. We take breaks and shift angles, but we come back to the core and stay the course.
It’s not if something poor will happen in your life, it’s when? We all go through constant and continuous ups and downs and if we hope to connect to stability we must recognize this reality. It’s vital to come to terms with this normality. Life is not perfect. The key I’ve found is to leave room in your routine for some shifting, and keep your eyes on the end goal.
Here are a few ways that we find helpful when we struggle to live up to our normal standards and distractions get the best of us.
- Take ownership for yourself. Don’t make excuses and blame others for getting off track. The only person in control of you is you. Be mindful of what you need to do to be your best self and start doing those things. For me this means, good habits like a bedtime routine, a morning routine, keeping my chores in check, setting aside time to work on what’s important, setting aside time for enjoying what’s important, etc… It’s hard to connect with others when you aren’t even connected to yourself. Be the best version of you so you can have the opportunity to be the best version of you for someone else.
- When something goes bad, take a break. Don’t react to it, respond to it. If it’s overwhelming, take time to listen to your gut. Do what it’s telling you to do. Maybe that’s a nap, a tv show, some time with a friend, or even some research… Come back and address it once you’ve had time to process it and can better deal with it.
- Make a promise to yourself to deal with it once you’ve collected your composure. Letting something go too long is a sure bet you’ll end up spiraling down super fast. Allow yourself time to delay and derail but then get back to work on the end goal.
- Touch base with people that want you to succeed. Talk to them and more importantly listen.
- Get outside and explore. Jared and I are dealing with a lot in our life right now with my dad’s sickness and with our children still being so young. We are strapped for time, energy, and resources to go and do things that normally help us getaway and connect. We have luckily already learned from similar circumstances before that it makes a huge difference to simply get outside and explore. A change of scenery and the sunshine on your skin can truly shape you into something new.
Has something went spiraling for you lately? Is there a tip I’ve offered that you could put to the test? For us, we wanted to go on a small trip together this season, but the cards simply didn’t align. Instead of getting frustrated by the situation, we tried to adjust to an acceptable solution. We went for a walk in the woods and spent some quality time together. Sure it wasn’t the adventure I’d dreamed, but it was maybe even more significant. If we went through life with no problems to ever overcome what would we learn? We wouldn’t grow or be challenged. We wouldn’t have a chance to develop our character and be stronger for what we went through and gained knowledge and experience from. Tough times are going to tackle us. Embrace them and know that you are able to endure the test.
Living For The Most,