I spoke to a good friend recently who gave me some insight she had discovered through a counselor.  She said “we always want a good conversation, a deeper connection, a better relationship, ” but we don’t realize we ourselves are often preventing that from happening.  Here’s how…

Sometimes, my child will come to me in a bad mood, upset or angry, wanting to tell me about it… I instantly try to fix it.  Saying things  to lift them up, or encourage them.  Surprisingly that actually does little good because it’s closing the door to conversation.  It’ s what most of us do because we don’t want to hear them feel bad, or see them sad.  We’re not listening long enough to hear that they just need to talk… They end up not talking and the moment and opportunity for communication passes by.

What they need most of the time is to get it all out.  Just like venting to a best friend, hearing oneself say things out loud usually does wanders.  It’s good to talk about feelings, even when their bad, because it helps us to process them.  So next time this happens try opening the door to conversation and say things like-

• tell me about it
• what happened
• how did that make you fell

It sounds so simple and kind of cheesy but it really works… I’ve been practicing it with my husband as well.  If he has a bad day at work or is frustrated about something on his mind and he starts to talk, I listen.  I don’t try to make him feel better right away.  I ask him to tell me more about it, or explain what happened.  It’s amazing how much more communication you get out of this little idea.  Talks go further, and you develop a much better understanding of your loved one.  They appreciate this too, you’ll see 😉

This was a big part of what was working for us in April so I hope I explained it well and try to apply it to your relationships because it helps.  On another note my babes were outdoors the entire month:)  April showers brought May flowers.  They were either playing in the rain water or picking  pretty petals 🙂  Here’s April’s Small Talk…

Dakota Rose – In the blink of my eye became a big girl.  She’s having more mature conversations, listening to and understanding things we don’t expect, asking lots of insightful questions, and beginning to form her own character.  I can truly depend on her for a lot now.  Really loving this stage.  She also lost another tooth!  Her eighth.  gosh :[

Jake Wyatt- Keeps asking for a boys night sleepover or to sleepover at a friend’s house : D  He’s a real natural at baseball and is getting excited about the season.  He wants all our family members to come and watch his first game!  Maybe I’m partial, but he really is good;)

Finnley Keith- Loves saying cuss words 🙁  He tries to say them around his brother and sister when he thinks I’m not listening and then he giggles because he thinks he just got away with something, oh this kid!  He stays up late every night no matter how early he woke and regardless if he napped.  Basically just picture the book “No DAVID”  and that’s pretty much Finn.  Insert the emoji of the mom with her hands on her head here. ;P

 

Dakota’s dress- peek kids

Jake’s shirt- gap kids

Finn’s shirt- gap kids