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A Time Of Transition

October 17, 2019

Filed in: family wellness

As I was creating an outline for this post and reflecting on our family wellness this month I couldn’t help but notice a theme amongst it all. Our family is going through a lot of transitions. The kind that I’ve been aware of, but still kinda sneak up and take hold. I’ve felt forced to notice them. Ironically it’s autumn and the season for changes so that gives clarity to what’s happening and helps me make sense of it. I hope you relate to one thing or another that we’re going through and maybe something will offer you some hints toward honing your own family’s unique path forward.

Notes on him-

FAITH- I sent Jared a text this last week to let him know I see him. I see him leading and feeding into others without being fed himself. It’s not one of those things I’m happy for him about… I know that it’s not good for his health long term to not be fed, but it’s such an example in his faith, confidence, and fortitude. He can be unwavering even when he’s weak, which I find impressive and a steadfast example of sound spiritual health.

FITNESS- In a time of “transition,” Jared’s career has been full throttle work mode and lacking on caring for his physical health. I think there are inevitably times like this where we will be “off,” and not our norm, but just acknowledging it and giving it grace knowing that the tides will turn. He told me that he really wants to get a bike soon so I know this type of fitness is on his future radar; )

FINANCE- We are entering a new phase of life as our children are growing and we’ve been assessing our family goals a lot lately. Looking ahead, shifting our lifestyle to meet the needs of our goals we are looking at me getting a part time job. Such a huge thing for us as I’ve been a homemaker for quite some time now. This change is a big decision we’ve been contemplating – pray for us!!!

FAMILY/FRIENDS- As the kids are getting older we are becoming more excited to explore and introduce more outside experiences to them. We are planning our first big vacation trip that we’ve taken since having them. We are going to share the trip with some friends and we look forward to making fond memories with them. Ps, it’s a ski trip! (#mountainpeople)

FAVORITE- Without having much extra time lately it’s the little things like playing football in the field that’s been Jared’s favorite. He hardly misses a night of bonding with the boys and Dakota. The rugged ball, the cool autumn air, the tackling and tickle attacks… that’s been where it’s at. The place he finds his balance and collects his composure.

Notes on her-

FAITH- I’ve been really enjoying my book club with some women in my community. We are studying women of the bible, reading through a devotion by Lysa Terkeurst. I’ve found it refreshing to revisit these historical lives. I’m reminded of so many applicable life lessons.

FITNESS- The past year or even two I’ve been on a journey to get back to a caring for my skin/hair/nails more naturally… It’s been a long process but I’m finally noticing the changes and improvements. Some brands and products I’ve used and love are aesop and obagi skincare. I chose aesop because of their outstanding reputation and noticeably better plant based products. I chose obagi to supplement my skincare routine after a consultation appointment with my dermatologist for brown spots and sensitive (still breaking out) skin. It’s not a natural product but has been a game changer in my skin as well. I have been loving sans ceuticals and pureology for hair care as well as body oil and we use a homemade soap bought locally for washing. We’ve finally found a natural deodorant that we feel comfortable with. It’s called malin goetz and has a nice eucalyptus scent. I haven’t had my nails done in about a year. Just letting them be strong and healthy and challenging myself to practice better self care of maintenance at home (I keep a cuticle tool in the shower.) I also notice a difference in skin/hair/nails since consuming more water and healthier foods.

FINANCE- I’m really excited about the education opportunity within company club. They are offering money classes each month which I’ll definitely be attending.

FAMILY/FRIENDS- For a long time I longed for engagement and connection within my community. I spent some years isolated a bit when my children were small. Women simply need a support system. I seeked out some form of this for what seemed like so long, and the past few years I’ve seen big shifts in this side of my lifestyle. So thankful to have circles of sisterhood. I highly recommend embracing community and putting in the effort to contribute to this in your life. Wherever you are, there are good, kind, people around that need you as much as you need them. Just start looking.

FAVORITE- As of late, I’ve been so very affirmed that curating is my craft. It really doesn’t matter what the content is, I just like to edit things down and develop a design. I always loved design as a young person but never knew how to transfer it into a “real job” I was afraid to venture into it in college because I thought I’d never make it. I was so intimidated and insecure. After years of practicing it as my hobby, I finally feel like I could make it a profession. Ha! I’ve been planning out our flower farm collection and landscape. It’s been so much fun!

Notes on them “smalltalk”-

FAITH- a conversation came up with the kids the other day about something that they had been told in church class a long time ago and it appalled me!! It was a reminder to me that it’s so important that our children’s foundation comes from us. As parents we should be the ones introducing and guiding our children in their spiritual health and knowledge. I believe it’s important for our kids to be exposed to other’s ideas but only after we as parents have laid the groundwork and trust that those perspectives are sound and safe. Of course these kinds of things are going to happen on occasion but being more conscious that we’re not just letting the kids be lead by others before ourselves is my point.

FITNESS- The kids brought up an interesting lesson on school lunch recently. I’ve tried to teach them how to pack a balanced diet that will fuel their bodies and brain, but when they see their lunches compared to some other kids they sometimes get sidelined… I mean who wouldn’t think soda, spicy nachos, and snickers bars look good after sitting serious and obedient in school all morning. They started making excuses to me that they too needed this silliness in their lives. I reminded them that those choices are not going to satisfy them. Not that they don’t get a sweet snack (they always pack something special), but they don’t need their whole lunch to be filled with emptiness. They need calories that will give them energy and fullness. It brought up a smart discussion on comparing behavior and health between consuming unhealthy/empty foods vs consuming nutrition. The conversation actually ended up working against them. By the end of our talk they were inspired to choose good things for their bodies over the deceiving temptations. (note- this sounds much more perfect than it is… trust me, my kids still get plenty of junk food in their lives much to my dismay; )

FINANCE- Finn, our youngest, has been obsessed with money since he was small. He is always in tune to conversations about it, stories of the wealthy, and insights on earning and investing. I remember lessons homeschooling the kids when Finn was 4 or 5 and he was already making sense of finances and showing interest in cash. His interest has only peaked as time has went on. Anytime we are going somewhere, he remembers to grab his money and often buys his own items at concession stands. Let’s take a moment to let it sink in that he’s seven. Lol. It’s hard to be mad about him sitting down beside me with sour punch straws when I didn’t have to fund them. I tell of this tale because I’m not sure whether to wink or worry. This week the tooth fairy visited Kody and we found out that Finn found the dollar and thought it was free dibs!! We always wonder how he accumulates so quickly! Haha. Finn’s our money man, but the other two have their own nature and relationships with money and I find it so interesting to see. Dakota saves her’s for something special, but she always, always, has something in mind;) Jake just saves. He’s the saver like his daddy… never really anything on his radar, but if something comes up he’s prepared and ready for it. Also, generous with it : ) Do you notice your children’s nature with money? Do you find it interesting?

FAMILY/FRIENDS- I feel like we’re entering new territory with Dakota in the tween stage… She is going on 11 soon and besides the common physical changes that are taking place, we’ve also noticed her maturing more emotionally. This lends itself to social maturing and we’ve had a few hard conversations lately about puberty and the changes that take place in all those aspects. She’s encountered some situations where kids around her were not acting appropriately and we had to address that topic. We discussed considering where kids are coming from and why they may be testing some new boundaries, but we also discussed being a good judge of character when choosing friends. We had an issue of her not telling us about someone being disrespectful and bullied. We explained that our parenting style is based on trust. If we can’t trust her to be honest and tell us about these kinds of things happening then we won’t be able to trust her decisions. I compared it to driving and said this… “We practice and teach you what’s appropriate and healthy and if you break those rules and act unsafe then we will pull back the reins on your freedom to drive. It’s our job as your parents to help you be informed and prepared in order for you to be successful!” She responded well to this analogy and it seemed to sink in to her that it’s important to share some of those awkward moments with us so that we can help her learn to respond well when those times come up. I added that there will be lots more of those awkward/uncomfortable instances.

FAVORITE- This season has been a breath of fresh air when it comes to having a lighter load. We were super busy last year with extra curricular activities and realized we needed to take a step back and give ourselves and the kids more freedom. I love watching the things that spark their interest when they have that time to explore and I have that time to take note and be observant. Finn went with me on a trip to a pottery studio and walked away with an intuition to go back. This was so cool to me because he has always loved hiking, collecting rocks and learning about minerals. Why had I not realized that it would go hand in hand with him wanting to use clay and work with natural materials. I’ll be taking him to a pottery class soon and he’s so excited! Jake is obsessed with football and since the weather has cooled he’s been busting at the seems to spend more time outside. He has been begging for a tree house so my dad and I are starting to consider building something throughout this next year! Jake loves hanging out with my dad and learning woodworking. It’s been one of those projects I’ve always dreamed of doing but never made time for. I think it’s finally time. Dakota spends a lot of her free time writing and drawing… she specifically loves playing around with penmanship so I have it on my list to get her a calligraphy book and open her mind to the world of graphic design.

I feel like these wellness posts get so lengthy… should I condense it down somehow and maybe touch on fewer points or focus only on the him, her, or them? Let me know your thoughts! I usually like to keep things simple and narrowed down as to not overwhelm, but I also love how these posts are a little chat about what’s up with a variety of things to chew on. As I write, so many things pop up in my mind, I could talk on each point so much more – lol! I inevitably can’t go into too much detail but will try to share more on social media- please don’t hesitate to ask questions on anything discussed!

living for the most,

xx kc

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