We celebrated father’s day this month and it was a significant one after losing my own dad recently. Jared lost his dad at age fourteen so he has had quite a long while to ponder on the nature a father’s role brings into a family. To each of us, fatherhood is valued deeply. We’ve felt the presence of a father and the loss of a father. It’s very empty and uncertain when a fatherly figure is gone. Having our dad’s, and loosing our dad’s, has refined our ideas behind the importance a dad brings to a person’s livelihood. It was always a defining characteristic in Jared’s character to become a good father. It is rooted in his experiences and history, and it was something I saw in him early that made me know he was going to be a good family man. He believes strongly in the integrity of it because he understood the cost of not having it. I am saddened that he faced unfortunate challenges, yet at the same time there’s no doubt that it made him the father he is today. I thought it appropriate to theme this wellness post on Jared around fatherhood and share some insight into his perspective and practices as a father.
As tension has risen the past month regarding society and social injustice, it’s been a testing of faith. A time to dive into what we believe in and how we choose to behave and represent those beliefs. A common theme that keeps surfacing in our conversations at home is one of leadership. The issues and debates at hand could all use significant leadership focus. Society has fallen so far from taking ownership and working on building better outcomes. It’s easy to get emotional and demand things we desire, but the real fruit is in the work. Character and respect comes from developing solutions and doing acts that contribute to those. A strong example is found in faith for how we are designed to forge a family and develop a society with purpose. This idea can be applied to both sides of the debate on all issues that I can think of. Whether you have a family or not, leadership applies to you. How can you contribute to helping lead and solve problems that have stemmed from the lack of leadership. Examples include: fostering or contributing to lives of orphaned children, creating leadership development within your community to foster character and success for people’s future, serving on boards or organizations that create policy… the list is unending!
You may have seen my social media story from Father’s Day of Jared and Kody preparing one of Jared’s favorite meals together. It’s a special way to invest in spending time with your children. Watching Jared and Dakota collaborate on making a recipe not only reminded me how much it matters to share an experience together and the lasting effects that brings, but also the practical life skills taught through the process. Jared and Kody worked together to note their ingredients, go to the grocer, and create their wing recipe!
Jared has felt a real pull to invest in our kids lately. He’s a thinker and he’s always the type to think long term and prepare for the future. Our children are growing quickly and we’ve found ourselves already seeing the years fly by! With time fleeting it’s kicked us into overdrive on what we want to invest in with our kids. Dakota has been saving for a horse for a few years and diligently working to make her dream happen. We have been trying to find her extra jobs to help her earn more money to put to her goal. It’s also been a drive for the boys too! They’ve seen her getting close to what she wants and now they’ve started thinking in terms of how they can achieve something similar for themselves. It’s funny, her ambition has even influenced Jared and I on how we value working and saving.
Within the family dynamic it’s been a year of struggle. We’ve suffered from a lot of “growing pains.” So many new and unforeseen challenges have shown themselves this year and it’s forced Jared to bear down and push through it. Within our marriage particularly I can say that his views on leadership have really carried us through. We’ve both been challenged to take ownership for what’s not working and each do the work to contribute to our family team and solve problems. An added note- I have shared some of our struggles with trusted family and friends and I must say how helpful it is to share the burden with others sometimes. It’s also that much sweeter when celebrating the overcoming! I think more people should be honest with themselves, their spouses, and their loved ones about their shortcomings so that solutions can be given, worked on, and hopefully overcome! The more comfortable we get with expecting ups and downs the better we can maneuver and know how to troubleshoot them. Hardships are going to happen. Welcome them as a learning process for growth and betterment.
Unfortunately Jared hasn’t been able to invest well in relationships recently due to his busy schedule right now. He runs a food distribution facility and his days have been extra packed with operations during the covid pandemic. On top of that he has taken the social distancing guidelines pretty seriously since he is open to exposure and spreading the virus on the front lines of the workforce. He has chatted on the phone with friends often and he’s ready for things to settle back into how it was before. Trying to be patient and thankful to have our property and close family during this time that we are still able to surround ourselves with.
One of his favorite things this time of year is fishing. He has enjoyed a few fishing trips on the water. I’d like to see him get to spend more time fishing on his own to allow himself some time to refresh a bit, but he always likes to take the kids along and show them the ropes. He’s been teaching them how to catch minnows in a net and use them as fish bait.
I hope in sharing some of Jared’s journey it might ignite something in you. What are your feelings about fatherhood? Do you have a relatable story or idea to share? Please comment and tell us about it!
Living For The Most,