A big lesson I’ve learned in life the past year is how important it is to lead yourself well. It’s self sabotage to be too busy, disorganized, or to wait on others to point you in the right direction. That classic quote “if you fail to plan then you plan to fail” rings absolutely true!
If you are not able to decide what you want and what you need then you are not going to have much success at an endeavor. Further, you won’t be in a good place to lead anyone else to be their best either.
Being in tune with your direction, goals, and needs refines your purpose and your pursuit. It allows you to hone in on how to achieve something and be your best self while in the process.
This is easier said than done regarding family life because it’s not always of course about your desires alone. Other members must be considered and respected. There’s a balance of doing what you know is best for you, versus doing what you know is best for your family as a whole. I believe however, that ultimately when you are clear and focused on a precise path, you are naturally at your best and therefore offering your best to those around you.
I’ve personally struggled with this balance of finding compromise with my family about our various directions. I came into a phase of letting a lot of things start slowly stealing my direction away. My aim began going in multiple different directions and before I knew it, I realized I had lost my way. I feel this is a very relatable thing that tends to happen in large active families. Regardless, it creates issues that need attention.
My specific problem was overcommitting to things I couldn’t keep up with. It led to overwhelm and burn out. I didn’t stay sharply focused on leading myself. I let too many things lead me! It’s easy to do in this society. I feel it’s something every family likely has to fail a little at in order to identify their true north and what they value. I’m sure it will honestly always be a process of editing consistently. Finding out what is and isn’t for us.
Hopefully, with each trial it will become more clear and defined. What I’ve taken from it is to be self aware and in tune with my needs and my family’s needs. I have to find time to lead myself so that I can lead them. I’ve learned to not feel guilty for needing that or taking that. I also needed to improve my communication skills for expressing to my family when I am maxed out and unable to perform optimally. What hit home to me was going so hard and so long on things that I wasn’t particularly energized or inspired by. It’s easy as a mom and dad to put your own stimulation aside for what everyone else needs. I’m so much better after I’ve led myself to a good place. I’m more capable of leading my loved ones to good places too!
Have you experienced this kind of struggle? Did you overcome and regain your direction? What types of things do you do to lead yourself? I like to explore new places and experience new things. It’s something that seems to always offer me perspective and a renewed vision.
Living for the most,